And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
