ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
