"it" just moved
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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