Where did you get a picture of my penis
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
