We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
