I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
