i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
