I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
