Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize
