Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Randomize