I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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