This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
