Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
