i just had sex bonerless
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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