You're so nebulous sometimes
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
