i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
