his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
