I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize