just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
It was a blind-side dick pic.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
