She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
