you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
