Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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