I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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