your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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