STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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