With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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