Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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