she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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