just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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