just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Man, jail baloney is awful.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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