i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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