It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
