dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
