I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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