The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
