do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize