How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Is that strawberry winking at me??
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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