Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize