is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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