She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
