Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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