why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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