Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
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