drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize