if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
