I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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