never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
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