i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
