We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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