Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
