i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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