what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
