honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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