You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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