Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
