If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
be right there i have to get my cape
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Randomize
