he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
