that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
