Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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