She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Randomize