We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Randomize
