Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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