I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
